Win Your Ex Back

The FGH System To Saving A Seemingly Impossible Relationship

25
October

Are you feeling that your relationship is at its lowest and is beyond repair? Don’t worry, simply use my FGH System to turn your relationship around: forgiveness, good communication, honesty.

I) Forgive your partner

Everything can be forgiven in the name of love. Forgiveness is the biggest part that many people screw up because of pride. Self esteem can blind somebody into a life of empty encounters winding up alone. Start forgiving by following these steps:

1. Express your feelings to the other person. Tell the other person — in non-threatening language — how their actions affected you

2. Talk about the benefits you’ve gotten from a negative situation — rather than focusing on the emotions you have surrounding the event, or talking about something unrelated — can help you to forgive and move on.

II) Good communication is the key to saving a relationship

IF you argue all the time, both of you are not listening to each other at all. So stop and sit down:

1. Get a coffee, or go to a restaurant. Sit down and talk about the problems in your relationship.

2. Make them realize why you liked each other in the first place.

3. Avoid arguments. There can’t be any communication if you both are just hearing each other’s voices all the time.

III) Honestly tell the person how you really feel

Try to find several different solutions that may help the relationship and ask the other person if they think the solutions would work.

Make sure your partner know that the relationship is at a low point because he or she might feel everything is great when it isn’t.

Here are some tips:

1. Talk about what you need, not what your partner needs to do. When someone is approached “honestly” about their shortcomings and lacks they are likely going to be defensive. Ask your partner how you can get more support from him or her.

2. Identify topics that are off-limits. Some topics are simply too difficult to tackle, especially if they’ve been problematic in your relationship. Find out about what issues shouldn’t be talked. One example is money.

Now apply my FGH system to save your relationship and tell me your success story below!

Talk about what you need, not what your partner needs to do. When someone is approached “honestly” about their shortcomings and lacks they are likely (and understandably) going to get defensive and refuse your request or seek revenge later. Gottman recommends a ’softened startup’. Example: I’m feeling overwhelmed lately. Would you help me identify some ways I can get some more support?

Posted by Joe Koh in Win Your Ex Back / No Comments

How to Save Your Relationship by Valuing Yourself and Your Relationship

24
October

Self-sacrifice and doing things for your partner is great and it is not a criticism, but ask yourself, are you all give and no take?

Everybody needs a healthy dose of self-love and robust self-esteem so that those ’special’ relationships are positive and balanced in terms of give and take. Too much give and not enough take leads to resentment.

Resentment is the enemy of love as the giver withdraws to nurse the vacuum in their relationship. It does not have to be this way if we take time to appreciate our selves, our achievements and our personality traits.

Love yourself enough and that love can spread outward to everybody around you. Your partner benefits and you can save your relationship with these simple self-esteem builders.

1. Take steps to be physically healthier. Look to your diet and eat more REAL food, especially plants. Real food is anything with five or fewer ingredients or does not come in a package. Refined foods are particularly unhealthy such as white sugar, white bread and saturated fats.

Thirty minutes of vigorous exercise every day, particularly before breakfast, will benefit your system, your body shape, your mental attitude and your sleep pattern.

2. Talk to yourself nicely and get your thoughts down on paper. The mind is a very limited computer. It can only hold one or two ideas at a time in our short-term memory. It is thereby very prone to repetition and circular trapped thinking.

By writing or drawing out your ideas you can exorcise repetitive thoughts and move on to develop your mind and attitude.

If you treat yourself and talk to yourself in the same way you talk to a child just learning the way of the World, then you will have a self-loving attitude.

3. Take time out from all the duties of daily life to meditate and reflect alone and in a calming situation. Reflect upon the modalities of your thoughts. Modalities are things like the color of the images in your mind’s eye, or the soundtrack that goes with your thoughts.

See what happens to your feelings when you deliberately change your modalities. By draining bad memories of color, dissociating from them and making them smaller we can reduce the pain they give us.

4. Be sure to treat yourself both physically and intellectually. You deserve what ever you feel will be good for you.

When you care and promote your own inner joy and good feeling, you will be able to share it with your partner and save your relationship.

Original article published here